Busy.

It's, once again, been a busy week. No time to write. Here is a synopsis:

Arie- had a feeding clinic visit. Up to 15lbs 13oz. Apparently he only gained 1/2 of what was expected in the past two months so now we are adding scoops of formula to all of his food to pack on the calories. We will hopefully get his allergy test results back today! And... HE'S CRAWLING!!! He's getting Baptised this weekend, so we've been busy preparing for that.

Micah- had the stomach flu. Let me tell you, that was fun. I'm still doing the laundry from that, but what's new. He still isn't eating well... no fear though, he eats like a pig when he's well so I'm not worried. He also learned the work "Shit" this week. My fault.

Elaine- told me in all her honesty that she "loves Micah more when he's sick" and she doesn't like to "hurt him as much when he's throwing up". Don't you wish she was your big sister?

Sasha- (one of my dogs) is having surgery today to remove a mass over her eye and to have her teeth cleaned. She's had a cone around her neck for a week now and she is miserable... poor puppy. We get her back this evening. I'll take pics.

That's about it! When my brain done being in overdrive I will be back!

A Little Twisted Humor

This is an example of a hypothetical conversation between two women if adoption was the norm as opposed to pregnancy. This is probably only funny if you've adopted before because, like me, I'm sure you've heard all of these same comments from people who are offering their "opinion" or who are trying to be "supportive". I admit it's kind of twisted and cynical, but I still got a big kick out of reading it. Please no flames... I'm not trying to offend anyone!

- Oh, you will GIVE BIRTH to a child, how exciting! Was it because
you didn't pass the authorities' investigations? Was it you or your
husband who wasn't accepted? Ooooh, you should see, if you only give
birth now you both will become sooo much more relaxed and the
investigation will go sooo much better so that you will get your own
real adoptive child in the end as well!

- A GENETIC child, how BRAVE you are! You two have always been SO
SPECIAL! Well, but everything will for sure go sooo well anyway. You
know, I know another woman who also chose a genetic child, and that
has actually worked out very well and her child is even doing well in
school!

- And from where will you get your child? Oh yes, I forgot, you go to
the birth hospital. Oh thiiink of those days, it was like a dreeeeam,
we went to Ethiooooopia... Well... hospitals can for sure be very
interesting all... the food for example... maybe.. or the doctors'
language. Latin is interesting and not so bad to learn some from
before you go!

- How does it FEEL not being able to choose the age of your child?
And aren't you worried about all the many varieties of severe
handicaps that you will not be aware of in advance? And IMAGINE, only
nine months to prepare, wow you certainly has self assurance as a
coming parent! Myself, I would NEVER dare doing something like that!

- Fantastic, that you too will be parents! In your own little way.
Without being investigated and OK-ed by all referents, authorities
and all. Myself and my husband went through the investigation with
such an ease, and it was SO good to get that strong support by both
authorities, referents and the whole surrounding - but for sure you
will make it well anyway. You always chose your own ways!

- And yes, I guarantee that you will feel like a real mother anyway,
despite that you don't have to think about it and motivate it so
carefully. I think it is very important that you tell the child the
real truth from the beginning - that you actually have given birth to
it yourself!

1/18 Arie's Feeding Update

Oh where to begin. We'll start with the good news. Arie is now eating baby food! He is doing really well and eating about 12-16oz a day. His Prevacid seems to be helping him with the reflux, though when he gets full he still gags.

Now for the bad news. Although he is eating baby food, he has lost 1lb and 3oz, taking him from 16lbs down to 14lbs 13oz (at 8 months old). The reason is because baby food has less fat and calories in it than formula has, and since he started eating food he is drinking waaaay less. That leads us to the next problem. He has slowly started drinking less and less formula. He has been getting constipated on and off as a result, and as I already mentioned he has started loosing weight.

I've been talking back and forth with the Feeding Clinic about what to do. We will be going to get him allergy tested (perhaps tomorrow??). Apparently now they can just draw blood and send it off instead of doing the whole "prick test" thing. The problem with Arie is that he has NO veins, so I'm worried that he will get stuck a million times. The last time they needed blood from him it took 2 different visits with total of 6 needle sticks and STILL no blood! They ultimately had to do it while he was under general anesthesia (for a small procedure), and even then they had to draw his blood and start his I.V. in his foot. Poor guy. So, hopefully the allergy testing will yield some answers. Aside from the eating, the other reason I think he may have an allergy is because he has a wicked diaper rash that just wont go away. We are using $40 butt-cream (and that's what we pay after insurance) to try and clear it up... and I am NEUROTIC about applying it every time we change his diaper. Anyway, I have to wonder if that's from an allergy. It's been an issue since he came home.

In terms of his development, we still haven't started P.T. I haven't heard back from the P.T. and I need to call, but the eating issues are enough to deal with at the moment. He isn't sitting yet (even when I prop him he will only sit up for about 20-30 seconds... it use to be longer) and he isn't crawling. The good news is that he is getting on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth! YEAH ARIE!

I count my blessings that he is such a sweet happy baby. I just wish that we could be done with all of the eating issues. I have to admit that I get so frustrated with him. It's horrible to just watch him starve himself and loose weight like he does... I feel like I'm doing something wrong or like it's my fault. And when I get frustrated at him it makes me feel even more upset at myself.... I should be more sympathetic, but after you've dumped 3 bottles down the drain in a day, it's REALLY hard to be sympathetic! (Not to mention that formula is not cheap!)

The nurse from the clinic is supposed to be calling me back today with some suggestions of things to try/change. I really hope that he starts gaining weight soon! He's now in the 50% for height (meaning that 50% of boys his age are shorter than him, and 50% are taller) and he is waaaay below 0% for weight (meaning that 100% of boys his age weigh more than him). He is also in the 0% on the Korean growth chart.

I've been saying the Serenity Prayer a LOT lately.... for those of you who don't know it, here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage
to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference

When You Wish Upon A Star...

Sorry I've been MIA lately. Here's the story:

On Christmas morning, when we all woke up, we discovered that we had little kisses on our cheeks. Unsure of where they came from (because they were VERY tiny) we giggled and laughed at the site of each other. But that wasn't as much of a mystery as the glitter that was all over our house. There was a glitter trail from our front door, up our stairs and into each of our bedrooms. We were all so surprised at this. What was Santa thinking???

Well, when we followed the trail downstairs it led us to a beautifully wrapped box. Sitting around the box was a stuffed Mickey Mouse and some other Disney items. We opened the box and inside the box was a letter from TINKER BELL!!!!! She explained how she hitched a ride with Santa to our house, flew upstairs to kiss us on the cheeks (thereby leaving a trail of "pixie-dust") and then flew back downstairs to leave her gift. The letter went on to tell us that Mickey Mouse had invited us to stay at his house for a WHOLE WEEK. All we needed to do was pick the dates!!!

It was a GREAT Christmas surprise and one that the kids and I will never forget. Soooo, where have I been the past few days? I've been busy planning our vacation! We'll be going the last week of April. YEAH!!! Let me tell you though... the tickets to get into Walt Disney World cost waaaaay more than the flights to get there and back. UGH! We've learned that when you "do Disney" you just can't worry about money because it's just plain expensive. BUT, in our opinion it's worth every penny!

THANK YOU TINKER BELL!!!

YOU CAN FLY!!!

I just wanted to share my favorite movie of all time. It's the live action version of PETER PAN. If you haven't seen it, you have to go out and rent it... even if you don't have children. I think the story of Peter Pan is beautiful, inspirational, and full of fantasy. There are pirates, mermaids, fairies, heros, vilians, and best of all... with a little pixie dust... FLYING CHILDREN!!!

I promise you, you won't be disapointed. Let me know what you think!

HELP! We're being eaten by the laundry montser!

We're drowning in laundry!!! I'm not kidding... I should post a picture of the mountain of laundry I have to do. It literally covers the WHOLE FLOOR in the laundry room and comes up to mid-calf. It's not that I just don't do it, it's that I can't manage to get down to the basement. Our basement isn't finished, so the kids can't really go down there. If I leave them all upstairs for more than... oh... 30 seconds or so, I will inevitably come back up to two crying boys: Elaine beats up on Micah, and Micah beats up on Arie. Since Elaine is the oldest, she doesn't seem to get pummeled as often. Like my mom always use to say, "Shit rolls down-hill". That phrase definitely applies to my children.

Granted, I COULD be using nap-time to do the laundry, but nap-time is "ME" time, and as it is I only have about 15 minutes of nap-time that I get to enjoy because I spend all of the rest of nap-time straightening up the house and scraping food off of the walls. It's sad when "ME" time = peeing in private and standing by the kitchen sink to inhale a snack (these two things are NOT done together ;)~ Oh how I YEARN for the days where I could go to the store and spend 15 seconds unbuckling myself and getting out of the car as opposed to the 10 minutes it now takes me to unbuckle 4 of us, get us all "into" something pushable with wheels, wipe snot off of noses, and plug screaming mouths with pacifiers. Without my children though, life would be pretty dull.

My ideas for our healthcare system (in re: adoption)... sad story... and UPDATE on previously mentioned first-mom.

This story is about a woman charged with kidnapping her biological twins. They had been adopted right after birth. I think this story says a lot about the way adoption works in the U.S. and the lack of effort put into helping first-mom's keep their children. Thank you Mia for providing the link!

By the way, the mother that I spoke of here "decided" not to parent her child. I think about her and her baby daily. Apparently there is a 10 day period in which she can change her mind... I'll never know, but I HOPE that she does. I'm sure that she didn't make an informed decision. I firmly believe that if she had more information she would have kept the baby.

Her story has encouraged me to talk with the management at my hospital and perhaps start an "Adoption Committee". The committee would have several goals:

~ To provide information about resources to help the first-mother keep her child.
~ To provide resources to first-mom's who decide to place their child (i.e. support groups, books, on-line resources, etc)
~ To help educate other health care providers on the importance of helping first-mothers make an EDUCATED and INFORMED decision.
~ To provide first-mothers who choose to place their child tangible items to take home with them such as: pictures, memory box, birth bracelets, baby blanket, etc.

Currently our hospital has a fetal demise (death) committee that provides these services and support, but there isn't anything similar for "adoption" patients. The ideas are still floating around in my head, but once I get it all organized I hope to present it to my management. I don't know of any such committee at any hospital. If you know of anything like this, please let me know! I would also love to hear your ideas about it. It would be amazing to start such a comitee and watch it spread to other healthcare institutions throughout the U.S. I know that's a stretch, but reform has to start somewhere!