Final HS Visit!

This pic is from Micah's baptism LAST year, but it's a cute one of our family.
We had our final HS visit today. It went well...loose ends were wrapped up, and questions were answered. I'm feeling a lot better after hearing from both SW's about the issues brought up yesterday. Our agency is going to write a letter on our behalf to Eastern (the sister Korean agency)explaining the situation that happened to me back when I was younger, but also explaining how I have learned and grown from all of it. Both SW's have told me they believe 100% that I would make a great mother for this baby, and they will make sure Eastern understands that. The letter they are sending is to ask for "pre-approval" of our HS. We should have our pre-approval answer soon (next week maybe?) and then we just wait for our FINAL HS approval, which is estimated to come in mid-late April. Once we receive our final approval, then we are on "the list" and waiting for our referral! (Once again, the referral is when they "match" us to a baby, and we learn all about him/her, see pictures, look at medicals, etc.)Once we accept the referral, it's still 3-5 months until we get our baby. Hopefully everything from here on out will go smoothly.

Drudging up the Past

Well, today the SW called me on my cell phone to ask me a few more questions about my past. Like I said a few posts ago, I have a somewhat "yucky" past (childhood/teenagehood). The questions led to a whole can of worms I didn't want to open. Anyone who knows me REALLY well knows what I'm talking about. I'm really worried right now that this could affect Korea's decision to give us a child. Hopefully they will realize that I was 16 at the time, and going through a lot. Prayers would be helpful right now as we wait for Korea to "OK" everything. And if you're atheist... then KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!! I'll let you know the outcome as soon as I know.

I got an e-mail from our SW at A.S.I.A. today telling me the last couple of things to be done before Friday. The last line she wrote said

The waiting list is short so you are on a good track right now.

I'm so excited!!! Just wanted to share!

It's all getting so real now. Today I heard from all of my "references" that the SW had contacted them. Hopefully all their conversations went well. We have our final interview in 3 days... and today we got the last couple pieces of paperwork together. It's really starting to sink in that after Friday we just wait for a phone call! The average wait time for a referral is 4-6 months, but it could be much sooner. The time can vary depending on what you will except in terms of medical conditions. We anticipate a fairly fast referral, but who knows. We are still debating on wether or not to travel to Korea to pick up the baby. There are a million reasons why we want to go, but the few reasons that tell us to stay are biggies. We have to have that decision made by the time our referral is accepted. On a side note, my "Shoe Box" made it to Korea for our little "Shoebox-Girl". She hasn't opened it yet (they are waiting for all of the boxes to arrive so each child can open one), but hopefully I will get a picture of her when she does.

GMU PATRIOTS ROCK!!!

George Mason made it to the "Final Four"! Ben and I both graduated from Mason, and we are very proud of them. Hope they become the next champions!

Thinking About Things

A Family...What Every Child Deserves
I was just sitting here thinking about things. Currently the average wait for a referral is 4-6 months from the time the HS is approved (our HS should be approved mid-April). Our SW said this could vary greatly in either direction, but if it does, we expect that it will be much faster. Once a referral is received, the baby is already about 2 months old. So, assuming we get a referral in mid-August (4 months from HS approval), then the baby's birth would be around mid-June. That means that right now our baby is growing!!!! Although this is thrilling for us, it's so hard to think of the pain his/her birth mother is going through. I'm sure every day is agonizing for her. I can't imagine feeling a baby grow inside me, and then giving it to another family to raise. I don't think I could ever do it. It would be so hard. I wonder how she is being treated by her family and friends right now. I'm sure she looks very pregnant at this point, and can no longer hide her growing belly. In Korea, it is not acceptable to have a baby out of wedlock. Korea is still very "old-fashioned" or "conservative" in it's thinking. It's very different than America. I hope that wherever she is, she will feel at peace with her decision to have her baby placed for adoption. I hope she knows that there is a family who CAN"T WAIT to see that baby, and who will love it unconditionally. I hope she knows how much she will add to our already blessed lives.

One week from today we will be FINISHED with our homestudy! The SW said the HS should be approved by mid-April. Then we just wait for our referral. We are getting really excited... we're currently trying to figure out how to decorate Micah's "big boy" room. Target has a really cute line called "Restore and Restyle Camping Bedding Collection". It's a camping and bug theme. We've started discussing names and have a few contenders. It's amazing how hard it is to come up with a great boys name. Seems like girls names are SO much easier!

3rd Homestudy Appointment Today

We had our 3rd apt. today. It was just me and the Social Worker (SW). She basically just asked me all about my childhood, adolescence, family relationships, etc. It went well, but some of the issues raised were really hard to think about. I've had a really rough day, LOTS of emotions today. I haven't had a day this hard in SUCH a long time. Also, I'm really starting to notice how much our Korean child will "stand-out". The past few days I've encountered some comments (regarding race) that I'm not quite sure how to handle. I've been reading a lot about ways to handle racist comments, rude adoption comments, etc. I just don't want my future child to get hurt by peoples jokes and teasing weather it's "friendly fire" or just plain racism. I've also been asked SO MANY TIMES "Why don't you just have one more of your own?" I realize that no harm is meant by this question, but this baby WILL be "my own". For future reference, never ask this question to someone who is adopting! Regardless, we are one step closer to bringing our baby home! YIPEE!

LINKS, LINKS, LINKS

Here are some links that might interest you:
Information about Korean Adoption:
Adopt Korea
Adoption Financing Ideas

Adoption Agency Websites
Children's Home Society and Family Services
Holt International Childrens Services
Eastern Social Welfare Society

Korean Adoption related items to purchase:
Heart and Seoul
Asia for Kids
International Cultural Connection
Korean T-Shirts
Mandy's Moon
Lingo House

Information about the "Tol" Celebration (Korean childs 1st birthday):
Life in Korea
Asian Info

About our "Shoe-box" girl!!

On the Korean adoption forum I "chat" on, one of the volunteers (from the USA) who is at an orphanage in Korea came up with the idea of sending "shoe-box" gifts to the all the children in the orphanage. She initially only needed about 40 boxes. But we were all so excited (and desperate to do ANYTHING to connect with those kids) she will end up receiving over 300 shoe-boxes. That's enough boxes for that orphanage and at least one other. I wanted to do two of them, but after spending over $100 on one, my step-mother Sandy offered to do the other. Sandy has already sent hers... going to a 4 year old male (no name given). I made one for a little 3 year old girl. (I know her name, but I'm going to keep that private.) Anyway, this little girl is known for her "tough" behavior. She won't tell anyone her name, and pushes people away. The volunteer that is over there told me that it broke her heart to see this child act like that. Apparently when people ask the girl her name, she replies with the Korean word for "I don't know". She does know, but because that is the only thing that is "hers" she keeps it to herself. Well, hopefully I changed that a bit. I sent her a box of things that can be all her own. The orphanage requested clothing items, so I sent clothes, toys, and a baby doll. It's not much, but hopefully she will feel special. I've asked the volunteer to take a pic. if possible of the girl opening the box... I don't know if she will be able to, but I hope. I also sent her a pic of my kids, and a letter (written in Han-Gul) telling her that I will always pray for her, and to live a life she can be proud of. If you look at the pictures above, she is the girl with the blue shirt on getting her pants fixed. I can't even imagine growing up in an orphanage with nothing to call your own, no family, nobody to tell you what you were like as a child or your family history... I could go on and on. I am so thankful for my family. By the way, the other pictures are of the orphanage facilities, and other orphans there.

Comments

Just wanted to let you know that if you would like to leave a comment or have a question for me, click on the word "comment" right under that entry. We've been trying to stock up on adoption related items for the kids. I found a great Korean lullaby CD, and lots of fun kids books. Amazon.com has TONS of kids books about Korea and Adopting from there!

Finally...Some info about our adoption

(This pic. is unrelated but really cute of Elaine at the beach in the U.S. Virgin Islands)
So, Ben and I have talked about adopting since we were dating! We both had an interest in adopting from Korea before we even met each other. Ben has been a Tae-Kwon-Do martial artist since he was nine, and has had a lot of Korean influence in his life. He's always liked the culture, values, and customs. I first thought about adopting from Korea after dating someone with two adopted Korean sisters. I was very close with the whole family, and really enjoyed spending time with them. Although the girls were adopted, I never felt like they didn't "fit in" with the rest of the family. Their parents did a great job of celebrating their adoption, and by doing so inspired me to adopt.

After more research, turns out Korea is a GREAT country to adopt from!! The birth-mothers and babies are taken good care of (medically), and the babies are in foster care until the age of two. With Korea we have the option of flying over to pick him/her up or having the baby escorted over here. We've decided to GO TO KOREA!!!

After sending in our initial application, we had our intake interview with our agency on December 9th. That's when we were given the BIG application. Holy-moley.. talk about work! We have had to give all our personal info, tax info, references, income, family medical history, etc. We've gotten police clearances, Child Protective Services clearances, DMV records. We've been fingerprinted by the Dept. Of Homeland Security, we've been x-rayed, we've had blood work done, we've written autobiographies, done fire escape plans, and THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS! I'll spare you the rest. Anyway, we FINALLY started our homestudy (HS). This is where the social worker (SW) comes to our house to inspect it and interview us. We will have four meetings total, and we've already done two. All four will be done by the end of March.

Here is our timeline so far:
12/9/05 Intake Interview
2/27/06 Homestudy Began

Here is a link to our agency's website:
http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/asia-adopt_org.html
Our agency is A.S.I.A., they recently joined up with CHSFS (Children's Home Society and Family Services).

Pics of our Children

OK... here are our kids. Elaine is 4 years old, and Micah is almost a year!! They are growing so fast! Later on this evening I will write out our timeline of events for the adoption and explaine where we are in the process. Right now I'm just trying to get this started!!!

Our First Post!

Hi everyone! We decided to start this blog so you all can follow along on our journey as we adopt baby number three from Korea. I will do my best to add pictures and LOTS of posts. Please feel free to write comments!!! Hope you enjoy it. I'll write more later after I"m finished setting it up!