UPDATE: Arie's eating nightmare continues.

Well, yesterday we went to another feeding clinic visit. At (almost) 14 months old, Arie weighs 17lb 7oz. I cried. I was SURE he had gained more weight than that. He only gained 1 lb in 3 months. He will NEVER face forward in a car seat at this rate! He did grow about 3 cm in length though, so that's good. That's pretty much the only thing saving him from a feeding tube at this point.

Apparently though, he is taking in enough calories but still not gaining weight, so it's sort of a puzzle. We had blood work drawn, but naturally, somehow the results got lost. Children's Hospital can't find the results and the lab said they have "no record" of it. ARGH! The lab work is to check for metabolic abnormalities. They are also going to test him for Celiac Disease (a severe gluten sensitivity?). He has a few of the symptoms including failure to thrive and chronic diahrrea.

So, they came up with this whole new plan. They switched his formula from soy to Alimentum, which is super expensive, and they have decided to eliminate all dairy and soy from his diet to see if he has a dairy or soy intolerance (not allergy). Here is my problem with this... the ONLY fattening things he eats are yogurt, cheese, and butter! I have no idea how to pack on calories now. But, whatever. We are still concentrating his bottles (3 scoops of formula to 5 oz water). We also add powdered fat (called Duocal... also super expensive) to his bottles. In addition to that, we add a scoop of Alementum and a scoop of Duocal to every 4 oz. jar of food he eats.

They also want me to reward every bite he takes by turning the tv. on and off. For example, if he takes a bite the tv goes on... stays on for a few seconds (as a reware) and then gets turned off. If he takes another bit it gets turned back on again. Well, I just don't know how I'm going to do that! I have two other kids (2 and 5 y.o.) who are both HIGH maintenance during meals.

I'm getting so frustrated. He really is eating much better now and we've been working SO hard at it. I'm frustrated that he's "taking in enough calories" but still not gaining weight. I also feel like the feeding clinic is still focusing on getting him to eat and not looking hard enough for a medical cause. Granted his eating isn't great but it's better.

FYI- he drinks abotu 12oz formula per day, and eats about 12-16oz food per day. And he's 14 months old (I know I already said that, but felt the need to restate it!)

Anyway, I will keep you all updated. I just want an answer at this point... something to guide us, you know?

Thanks for listining!

Insight

Taken From.. http://www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/straight.html

Straight Talk
by Liza Steinberg

For me, being adopted is part of who I am. It is a part of my life experience. I have heard much anger and defensiveness from adoptive parents when adoption is talked about in a negative way or compared to a negative experience. These voices usually say things like, "Adoption, for our family, was a wonderful experience," or "Our family was formed through adoption and to talk about that negatively is saying our family isn't OK," "Adoption brought joy to our family." These statements are all true but they are not acknowledging the whole truth of adoption. What has been left out is the loss, the pain of loss and the struggles of dealing with this pain and loss every single day and minute. This loss is the experience of the adopted person.

Before I was adopted, I was separated from two families, my birth mother's and my birth father's. Two sets of people with whom I shared physical traits, characteristics and mannerisms. Two groups of people who, as society tells me over and over, are the most important people in my life and with whom I will have the strongest "bond." In my case, I was also separated from something else: my culture and my race. These losses are with me every day. These losses are part of my experience. These losses have been the hardest and most painful things I have dealt with in my life. And they are huge.

When I hear adoptive parents being horrified at a comparison of their child's experience to something as horrifying as a war, I am horrified that they think it could not be that bad. When I hear someone say it is distressing to hear such a negative comparison to adoption, I am just as distressed to imagine comparing it to something great.

What I have discovered is that for many people it is not always OK to say these negative things about adoption. I think that people interpret the negative (real) talk about adoption to mean that I wish I weren't a part of my family. Or that I am not connected to my family. Or maybe even that my mom and dad did something wrong by adopting me. Or that it means that I am not grateful. But you know what, I am not "grateful" that I had to be adopted. I am not "grateful" that I have to struggle with the loss of my birth family and that identity. And I don't feel "wonderfully lucky" that I was raised in a culture different from the one I was born into. What I do feel is that I love my mom and dad very much. I do feel totally connected to them. I wouldn't trade my family for any family in the world and I don't wish they were someone other than they are. I don't wish that I didn't have to participate in family events (well... about as much as anyone) and I feel totally supported by my family.

My biggest wish in the world is that we could talk honestly about adoption. All aspects of it. I wish that we could acknowledge the wonderful gift it brings to all of our lives as well as the tremendous loss and the horrific fear and confusion. I wish that children growing up adopted could know that, as well as feeling grateful and blessed, it is OK and normal to feel angry, seared, abandoned, out of control and totally alone. Like "being kidnapped or taken prisoner by invading armies. Or forced to migrate to another country or separated from what you call home." Don't you think that if children knew that it was OK to have negative feelings, they might feel comfortable and safe expressing all of their feelings?

LOTS of PICTURES!!!

Here are LOTS of pictures! Some are from Disney World, some from Elaine's preschool graduation, and some are just random pics. Enjoy!