The Material Girl

For those of you who haven't heard, there are claims that Madonna has adopted a baby boy from Malawi... a country in Africa. So far she is denying those claims. Who knows if it's true. I'm sure it will be all over the news for the next few days, and once again, we will hear how international adoption is a "trend". Ugh. Here is a link to the CNN article. I have to say, if it's true that she adopted a baby/or is in the process, I'm happy that another baby has a home. BUT, sickened to think of how international adoption is going to be trivialize by the media and looked at as "fashionable" or "trendy". It's a big debate. On one end, perhaps it will help draw attention to countries that need it, and perhaps it will help find homes for children that need them. But on the other end, it will lead to more people thinking of our adopted children as accessories or status symbols. I think that aspect of it does a dis-service to international adoption, and the children who were brought into the U.S. by their new families.

This quote also made me sick to my stomach:

Rosenberg said there was no truth to statements from the Malawian government that Madonna had chosen to adopt a year-old boy from among 12 children specially selected prior to her arrival in the capital city of Lilongwe on Wednesday.
"She asked us to identify boys only, which we have done after visiting four orphanages in Lilongwe," government spokeswoman Adrina Michiela said, adding that Madonna had wanted to adopt a girl but changed her mind two weeks ago.

The way it is written makes it sound as if Madonna was going to choose the "pick of the litter" from a line-up of purebred Lab puppies. I think it makes adoption look quick, simple, easy, and tacky. The process to adopt Arie from Korea was exhausting and, although fairly streamlined, still difficult at times. Keep in mind that Korea has been working with the U.S for a very long time, so most of the kinks have been worked out. When the U.S. is working with other countries, that haven't been doing adoptions with the U.S. on a routine basis, the process can take years and have lots of bumps along the way. Also, the truth in adoption is that you can't "hand-pick" your child. I don't think you should be able to. We didn't hand-pick Arie. We were given his information and then left to make a decision based on that information. No baby is perfect, and we were open to many issues... so based on our "openness" we were matched with Arie. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't begin to imagine the guilt I would feel if I went to Korea and had to pick one child out of a line up. How horrible would that be?


The other problem I have with Madonna's possible adoption is the fact that Madonna is a very busy woman. Who would the baby bond with? Attachment in adoption is so important. It's probably the most important issue. We work so hard with Arie. We are constantly reinforcing that we are Mommy and Daddy, through eye contact, skin-to-skin contact, holding, singing, games, etc. Who would do that in Madonna's situation? The nanny? The chef? The driver? Who? Would Madonna have time to hold her new child on her hip for 8 hours a day?

Anyway, we don't even know if it's true, so I guess I won't get all worked up about it now. If it is true though, I pray that she has the knowledge and insight to raise that little boy with the attention, love, and commitment he will need. Here is a link to a website called "A Forever Family". There is so much information on there about attachment, and other adoption issues. Please go check it out.