On The Road Again

So I was up late last night during the 12, 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, and 8 O'clock hours. Elaine had leg cramps (she gets these a lot) and Arie just doesn't sleep. I have a cold so I took NyQuil before I went to bed. Big mistake. I could hardly tell which way was up. I need sleep like nobody's business.

We went to the pumpkin patch yesterday. It was me and the kids (Ben was with his Army unit), my sister and her three kids, and some of her neighbors. Part of my exhaustion today is from that. The most relaxing part of the day was driving in the car because #1)all the kids are strapped down, and #2)I get to sit. Normally the only time I get to sit down during the day is when I'm on the toilet. Does that really count as "resting"? I don't know... but in my book it does.

Although I like our car rides, getting into the car is a different story. I can't remember the days where I could just hop in the car and go somewhere. Now there is SO MUCH thought and effort put into any car trip... even if it's just to the grocery store. First I get the kids ready by changing the boys diapers and making Elaine go potty (which is an argument every time because she never thinks she has to go, but the minute her bottom touches the seat she pees like a race horse), then I start getting them into the car. Arie goes in first because if I try to put the other two in first, then Arie gets a "bath" by my bulldog Gertie. Yuck. So I get Arie strapped in, stick his paci in his mouth, cover him up, and give him a toy which ends up on the floor (along with the paci) before I can even get the door shut. Next is Micah who kicks and screams the whole time because he wants to play outside instead. Basically I repeat the same steps... strap him in (using my full body weight to hold him down because he's strong as an ox and uses every bit of strenght he can muster to fight me), give him a paci, and a toy. Moving on to Elaine. She's fairly easy in comparison. She can at least walk to her own seat and get in... the hardest part with her is convincing her to get in because she, too, wants to play outside.

So, now all three kids are in the car. This means I can get in too, right? WRONG! I have to make Micah a bottle, make Arie two bottles to take with us, pack snacks, and refill the "daipers" section of the diaper bag. Whew... now I'm in the car. But wait... where the hell are my car keys? So I get out, search the diaper bag, search the kitchen/family room, search my bedroom and finally find them in Micah's crib. Hmmm, thanks Micah. Ok, back to the car. As soon as I open the door I get a big whiff of a very foul odor. After sniffing bottom #1 (Arie) I look over and discover that bottom #2 has decided to basically explode. Well, when you're a bottom, and your strapped down tight to a car seat, the only way to explode is up and out. So there is poop all up Micah's back, and down his legs. Great. I leave Micah in his spot while I get Elaine and Arie out of the car. I get them inside, and then move onto Micah. 20 minutes later, after changing both Micah's outfit and mine (because once again he fought me like the ox that he is and managed to get poop all over both of us) we start the process over. Eventually we all get in the car and drive away... only to discover 10 minutes down the road that the freshly packed diaper bag is still sitting on the counter. F_ck.