My Take on Celebrity Adoption

I've had several people ask me what my opinion is on Madonna's status as an adoptive mother (a.k.a. "a-mother"). I really have no problem with "celebrity adoption". I think Angelina Jolie, from what I can tell on t.v., is a good mother. She always has her children with her, and she seems to really put them first. I have heard the term "baby collecting" in reference to her, and I think that's crap. I, myself, have thought about adoption from Ethiopia in addition to our Korean adoption. Why? Because I (might) want another child one day, and Korea may be shutting their doors to international adoption. Ethiopia has a good program, and for some reason I am drawn to that country. Does that mean I'm a "baby collector"? No. It simply means that if we want to adopt another child, we may choose to adopt from Ethiopia based on their adoption program.

Here's something else I hear a lot... "international adoption is becoming a trend". GIVE ME A BREAK! Are you telling me, that because a handfull of famous people (out of thousands of celebrities, I might add) have adopted internationally, that international adoption is "trendy"? I just can't figure out how that makes any sense. And let me tell you, the process of adoption is enough to weed out those people who aren't serious about it. It's not like buying puppies... you don't just hop on over to some third world country and hand-pick a child. It takes months and months, and sometimes years. There is so much work involved. But, lets just say, for arguments sake, that international adoption is becoming a "trend". Well, if the families who apply are good families, good parents, and honest people (regardless of their celebrity status) than what's wrong with having an adoption "trend"? Personally I think it would provide homes for children that need them. I guess the word "trend" implies that eventually it will go out-of-style. Do you honestly think that the new a-parents would just toss their children aside once adoption is less "trendy"? I don't, and I think it's ridiculous to assume so. While I don't believe that the word "trend" is the best word choice (or even a remotly good word choice), I don't see anything wrong with celebrities adopting children and trying to shine a bright light on international adoption so that other families might do the same thing. AS LONG AS those celebrities will provide those children with love and good care, and help them keep thier roots grounded in the culture they came from. While I say it's a positive thing, there are problems with this. Living as in internationally adopted child in a "white" America (this is assuming that most of the international adopted children are adopted by wealthy/white couples) will be difficult for these children. The problems they will encounter during their lifetime are endless. There is still LOTS of racism in America, and being an internationally adopted child means that child may not ever feel like he/she truely "fits in" in the American culture, or the culture of their own race. I hope Madonna, and the other celebrities that adopt are prepard for that, and are prepared for the possible negative feelings that child may feel toward their a-parents as they grow. Obviously the best choice would be for these children to be raised in their own country, by people of their own race and culture... but if that's impossible (as it appears to be), then having them adopted by U.S. families is better then watching them spend their childhood in orphanages.

Here's another argument I hear... "Why aren't they (the celebrities) adopting children within the U.S.?" Why? Well, first of all, a child is a child. Whether they are in New York City or Africa, they need a home and a loving family. Aside from that, the U.S. foster system/adoption system has many flaws. We never even considered adopting within the U.S. And I did receive scrutiny because of that. I'm not going to list all of the problems with the U.S. system, in fact I don't even know all of the problems. But I do know that in Africa, China, Russia, etc. the children don't receive the care they would receive in the U.S. In the U.S. the children aren't dying in the hundreds because they are stricken with A.I.D.S. They aren't dying in the hundreds in the U.S. because they are starving to death. I think attention needs to be drawn to the countries that are overwhelmed with orphans so that some of those children can be placed in loving homes where they can be given a chance at LIVING. I also think that by Madonna adopting from Malawi (I country I've never even heard of), she has drawn attention to that country and the problems they are faced with. Hopefully, they will get the resources they desperately need from some of the more fortunate people of the world.

Over all I support Madonna and her a-mother status. I think it's great. I do have a couple small issues with it. #1) I am worried for her son and the attachment issues he may develop. Although Madonna is his mom, he has nanny's and other care takers. I pray that Madonna spends the time with him that he needs so that he will learn how to "attach" and bond with people. I think that is probably the most important issues in adoption. I hope Madonna has done her homework and is doing most of the care for him. #2) I don't like the whole "hero" thing associated with the adoption. Saying someone is a "hero" or a "saint" implies that the action they took was a huge feat of courage, or "God like". It implies that no ordinary person would be able to /want to do such a thing. It implies that there is something wrong with adopting a child from another country, and that it takes a "special" person to adopt. Why? I've had people say this to me to.... that I'm a "special person", or that I'm a "Saint". First of all, I am no Saint! Just ask my husband. But why can't I just be a mom who wanted to have another child without making one? I knew there were children without homes, I wanted a child, so why make one when I can provide a home to one already waiting? Do you see my point? Adopting a child doesn't make me a saint, it makes me a mom to a baby who didn't have a home. Period.

I hope the press calms down a bit, and leaves Madonna alone so she can bond with her son. I also hope they quit using terms like "trend" and "baby collecting". If they put a positive spin on international adoption, for once, perhaps they would help more of these children find their way into loving families... or better yet, perhaps more people would send aid to those countries so that the children wouldn't have to be adopted by richer countries in the first place.